I cannot restrain myself for explanation: I'M GOING TO ISRAEL!!! There were only a few spots on the trip and somehow God saw fit to give me one! I cannot even believe it!! I just got the email a few moments ago confirming that I am in and also that the down payment is due on the 28th (so, it's crazy soon that He will provide something). My mind is blown; I had totally reconciled myself to Mexico if need be.
It is past due time for an update; life has been a blur, to say the least. I will not even attempt to catch up the details on a series of events so incredible that I must say, I am no longer myself. Or at least, I have yet to recover myself, for in this ceaseless spin, I feel like the child on the merry-go-round letting objects fly in countless directions.
Firstly, I need to request prayer for the Garcia family, the lovely people I had been working for in the mornings for over a month now. Mrs. Garcia passed away on Friday, leaving behind a husband and five year-old daughter. All prayers of peace, comfort, and wisdom are welcome. When I found out on Saturday, I truly did not know what to do. I felt very lost and home felt further away than it ever has. I could not run to my mom for comfort and I could not crawl close to my daddy and cry. No one had answers and no one's hug held the solace for the confusion in my heart. I was in shock, to say the least, among other questions of availability for her daughter and financial provision for myself. Other things factored in emotions that day (too many and complex to explain) but I found myself pleading to God, "Can't I just run away? Is there ever a time where I can just make it disappear behind me?"
I felt a soft affirmation, almost an invitation. "Yeah, come join Me."
"Really? Where?"
He reminded me of a park on my way to work so I dressed in uniform, grabbed what I needed, and met my Friend for a talk. I spread my blanket out under an autumn-arrayed tree and breathed in a breath of cool fall breeze. The drive there had already done wonders for my nerves (there is something therapeutic in the combination of a beautiful day and a sunroof). There, I found myself reminded not of the worries and confusion edging at my mind all day, but as I wrote in my journal the events of the past couple of weeks, I saw a trend of peace and joy unnatural to myself in chaos. Despite times of tension, a prevailing sense of victory graced my outline. I found myself giggling in delight in spite of myself. And then He showed me this:
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:23-25)
I called my roommate Rachel and told her what I had found and shared my encouragement with her. Then He and I talked some more and an assurance that I was taken care of settled on me. It is definitely a practice to learn, living in the comfort of faith and not evidence. It is beyond my mind and yet, I really shun the reality my mind is prone to: if the impossible is not possible, it is all clockwork and my life merely a tick in eternity. Superior truth, however, certainly dictates differently.
As well as Saturday went, and as much as that sense of peace followed me (with breaks of questioning, natural to my growth), yesterday I received a call that nearly pounded the coffin into my sanity. My mom said there was no way for me to get home to Texas for my Thanksgiving break, no flights whatsoever. There is a great deal of complication and back-and-forth in all of this, but I found out this morning that I will, however, make it to Alabama for family gathering. I am elated to see my family, although I have to admit my heart broke over my friends and the plans we had already formed--great adventures, of course. The seesaw of relief and disappointment has been quite the hurricane of the latter weeks, but I am finding the more in tune I am with Him, the less circumstances affect me. It is not an accomplishment or destination, but a process with a lot of steep mistakes along the way. The reality that He is my Comfort and Provision is not a simple, easy thing to grasp, but perhaps it is the reality that I am here to learn.
Prayer Request: continued peace, job provision, and mission trip finances
