Let the expectations fall

Recently I have been musing over how expectations deeply affect our lives. To some degree, they are the standard to which we hold ourselves or others. Expectations take us to the height from which we must fall if the plan changes and disappointment sets in.

I simply cannot see any benefit to expectations.

Of course, I must clarify my "definitions" in order to make such a broad statement. Expectations are not Hope. They are not a moral standard. Simply put, they are a belief or mental picture about how something "should" be. It is an excuse for disintegrating relationships when someone does not turn out "as expected." It is the reason that a perfectly normal day seems like a bad one because it did not turn out "as expected." So much damage happens as the cost for failed expectations; we become selfishly disappointed that someone did not do as we expected them to and, sadly, take offense that their decisions do not reflect our expectancy. Life, like Relationship, is ever-changing, always growing, and generally un-Expected.

The counterpart to expectations, if you will, is Hope. Hope anticipates good things, but is not crushed if the scenario changes. Hope is tied closely with love because it will expect good things no matter what. If the entire picture crashes to a thousand pieces, Hope still says that "The best is yet to come." It is not simply optimism; it is a deep assurance that when something does not turn out as expected that all is not lost. The relationship Hoped for can adjust and grow to meet both participants' needs. All of the circumstances that have not played out according to plan are not a loss; they are tools for an unseen win.

Let's stop coloring each other with our own preferences and accept each other's differences, dreams, and (expectations forbid) even mistakes as a part of this fluid, layered picture.